MET \5670 Show \102 --Rev. 1.01 Originally posted on EQUEST-L on Jun 11, 1994 OK, by request (*sigh*), here's the opening sketch to the second episode of MET\5670... I intended the original as a one-off parody, but due to an emphatic request (or, perhaps, *challenge*), I finally relented and did another one... If enough people actually like these things, I can probably continue to do more-- as it is, I have come up with several more ideas for MET "host segments," and have some thoughts about possible character building in further "episodes," so maybe this thing actually does have a chance to have a story of its own after all... It's kinda fun, besides... Unlike my original set, this and any future MET segments (if any...) will not be targeted towards MST3K-only fans, and therefore will reflect less care about restricting spoilers and the like. So, to any MST3K-fans-who-are-not- EQ-fans who are reading this, you read At Your Own Risk, as it were... :-) [If any MST3K-only fans take this as an invitation to start reading EQ, so much the better... :-) ] Comments to mkuhn@caesar.cs.uiowa.edu... Flames to /dev/null... ========================================================================= [still frame header still is shown, VO by video editor guy] VO: Mystery Elfquest Theater Five-Six-Seven Eights, Show eight-eights and two, Reeeel one! [opening theme sequence same as first show] [same pull-back sequence as first show, but this time when it opens out to the group shot of the Wolfriders, we see that they are standing in front of a large pile of rubble; looks like the entrance to a cave that has, well, caved in...] CUTTER: [somewhat annoyed and irritated] Hello, and welcome to another [sarcastic] *exciting* episode of Mystery Elfquest Theater. Today we're trying to figure out some way out of this cursed desert. I just can't *wait* to find out what those Mad High Ones are planning to do to us next... STRONGBOW: **If they get anywhere near target range, I'll--** CUTTER: No, Strongbow-- no elf must die-- especially not a High One, mad or not. Besides, I doubt they'd actually let us die out here in the desert-- remember how they said that they were recording our experiences in symbols? If they killed us off now, there wouldn't be anything more for them to record, so I guess we can still have faith, at least, in that. [diamond-shaped sending star starts flashing in the lower left-hand corner of the scene] CUTTER: Well, speak of the humans... [taps a random rock in the rubble heap] [scene switches to Deep Eight-and-Five; Dr. Claytimmain and Open-Sending's Frank are visible] DR. C: Hello, desert rats! Having fun, I trust? [smiles] FRANK: Watch out for snakes! DR. C: [feigned sympathy] Well, I can see you're all hot and tired, so let's just get right to the invention exchange, okay? [normal voice] Our invention for this week is called the Pini Predestinator! [Dr. C points to something behind him; the scene expands, and we see a large, colorful blob shaped thing hovering a few feet off the floor; it appears to be made up of a single ribbon, tangled and twisted to form this amorphous blob. The ribbon is evenly divided into small squares along its entire length, each containing a single symbol, and each square being a different color. The ribbon slowly turns and shifts, thus making the blob continuously change overall shape. A very pale Glider sits motionless on a rock formation to the side of the blob; his gaze is fixed on the blob.] DR. C: Once we got started on those comic books, we realized that not only do we need to plan out your adventures in advance, but, in order to improve their popularity with the humans we're trading with, we also need to set up small situations and dialogue which foreshadow what is to come in the future. FRANK: You see, these humans like to [starting to imitate a public service announcement] read books full of wonder and whimsy and-- DR. C: [eyes rolling back] *Enough* Frank! (*sigh*) Anyway, these humans tend to get rather curious about things they symbol-read and experience and like to try to find explanations for past events and speculate on future events. [points to the blob-shaped thing] All we have to do is shape the surface of this stone ribbon with symbols outlining the future experiments we have planned, and Pini Predestinator here will then insert *new* symbols for scenes which offer vague hints about events long before they actually occur! [looks back toward us] So, by taking advantage of these humans' little peculiarities, we'll keep 'em all guessing and drive them crazy with anticipation!! Ha ha ha!! FRANK: Oh, and we didn't want to leave *you* treewees out of the fun, so we thoughtfully added a Dramatic Irony feature designed to increase your own frustration and annoyance! DR. C: That's right! So, my Happy Little Elves, is it even worth my asking what *you* might have for us today? Hmmmm? [scene switches back to desert] SKYWISE: [beaming with pride] Actually, yes-- take a look at this! [takes talisman from around his neck and holds it in front of him by the cord] This stone here is called a "lodestone." See how it always points in the same direction when I let it hang here by this cord? [Skywise turns back and forth a few times to demonstrate] And look how it clings to metal just like a living thing! [moves his sword up close to the lodestone; the lodestone swings toward the sword and sticks to it] [switch back to Deep E-a-F] DR. C: You call *that* an invention?? I can find more interesting prizes during our breakfast-hunt! Besides, [smugly] we *obviously* already knew about it, remember?-- Wake up and leave the wolfsong! [grinning evilly] Anyway, enjoy the Glare and No Water! Send 'em the experiment, Frank! FRANK: Say, that lodestone thing would really come in handy once the humans here invent the refrigerator... DR. C: *sigh* Just send 'em the experiment, ok? FRANK: oh, ok... [turns toward us, closes his eyes, puts hands to his forehead; his face shows extreme concentration] [scene switches to desert] CUTTER: [to himself] "...beyond the woods-- what is there?" [pause] [face suddenly changes expression] AAAAARRRGGG! [lots of mysterious loud buzzing noises and flashing lights suddenly occur; everyone starts running around at random for no particular reason] CUTTER: Oh, we've got TwoMoons Sign!!! ....you know the rest... ------------------- This fanfic Copyright (C) 1994 by Martin Kuhn. 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